This site has now been retired. I've moved to my new site Silverknife, where you'll find new blog posts and all my latest projects and photos. These pages will remain for at least a while, as I know some of you are still looking through the archives, but I'm reposting my travel journals and many other articles on the new site. Come and check it out.
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Today I went in for my first travel planning session with the nurse at my GP's surgery. As previously mentioned, I've had a pathological fear of needles since I was pretty small, and based on my understanding of the initial phone conversation and further research it was looking like I might need up to 12 injections (a good few of which I assumed I would be getting today, although I did wonder if there was a physical limit based on available veins etc).
As a result I spent last night and part of this morning in a mounting panic, managing to swing back to calm only by enormous exertion of concentration only for the fear to rapidly rise again. However, about a half hour before I left I found a surprising thing. I had been experimenting with all sorts of mental states, visualisations, meditation, different perspectives etc. trying to achieve any kind of calm at all, when I discovered that while I couldn't achieve (or at least maintain calm), I could go a different way which worked a lot better - excitement.
This is going to sound fairly bizarre, but there is in fact a theoretical basis for it. Schachter and Singer (1962) (see, I still know how to reference - good eh? You don't get that on BoingBoing...) found that subjects who were artifically aroused (not sexually but in the psychological sense, just meaning stimulated or excited) by an injection of adrenaline would interpret their state as either euphoria or anger based on the situation they were in. In effect, given a state of excitement with no real cause, they would imagine a cause based on where they were, and believe it was real emotion caused by their situation.
Based on this study, it was proposed that all strong emotion had the same physiological cause (arousal), but was "tagged" by the mind as fear, anger, joy, attraction etc. depending on the context. That "general theory" has since been disproved by other studies, but there is still support for the idea that strong emotional states are very similar, and cognition has an important part to play in differentiating them based on circumstances.
Physically, the states of fear and excitement/anticipation are almost identical - they're caused by pretty much the same chemicals (adrenaline being the most central of course) and almost impossible to distinguish based on what's going on in the body. So whereas my attempts to feel calm were at odds with my body's state, trying to "switch tracks" to excitement was a lot easier. I found I was able to completely convert my mood to a feeling of excitement and anticipation, even managing to feel psyched about the needles going into my arm - very odd!
I still suffered the effects of high adrenaline of course - sweating, shaking, tense muscles and high pulse and blood pressure which led to a headache - but it was certainly more pleasant, and in time I was able to turn it into a functional calm for a short while. Once I was actually lying on the exam table waiting for the jabs it fell down a bit, but it got me there in a reasonably functional state, and I think this could be a really valuable new skill. More experimentation when circumstances allow.
As it turned out, I'd overestimated the number of jabs I needed anyway. The (very kind) nurse took me through what was needed, and it turns out malaria requires various kinds of treatment rather than a vaccination (although the list of possible side-effects is a tad offputting), cholera isn't all that prevalent and I can just get vaccinated if I'm passing near an outbreak, etc. etc. I ended up with just two injections today (for Diptheria/Tetanus/Polio and for Typhoid), and two more each week for three weeks (plus Yellow Fever which I have to book myself).
I think this might be a good way for me to get over my fear of needles, actually - a couple at a time isn't too daunting, I already feel less tense about next week's installment. And having it as an ongoing process means I can build up a feeling of familiarity with the process. Mind you I still can't look while the dose is being prepared - I haven't seen a syringe intended for me since I was about 6!
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